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Crappy quality because it was taken on my phone.
So I completed a challenge that my therapist gave me for today: clean off at least one surface.
This is to help handle my anxiety and to get my house back in shape.
One of my son’s counselors for his intervention program told me that it concerned her that my house was in this shape, namely for the mice that are slowly taking over our house. I expressed this concern to MY therapist and she’s helping me take control of it by setting goals based around Unfuck Your Habitat’s challenges (I told her about it). Tomorrow’s goal is to clean off another surface that is twice as big and Friday’s goal is to tackle the floors. We are focusing on one item/problem at a time and this week is trash. Since this was a small space to for me to clean, I did the whole job throwing out things that I didn’t need/junk, cleaned off any food crumbs, and wiped it down.
Oh, and if your sponge smells disgusting from sitting in water/stagnated while drying, just pour some vinegar straight on it. It kills most of the smell. Seriously.
Since underneath is part of the floor, I decided that I shouldn’t stress myself out too bad and wait for it to come around because I know back behind the desk is a “hidden corner” and will make my anxiety rise.
Remember, procrastination isn’t usually laziness. It’s a reaction and escape from anxiety. So be brave and get to work! (Taken from this photo)
One step at a time…
I am seriously about to lose my mind. I can try and try and try to follow UFYH’s 20/10 and 45/15’s and unfuck your mornings and challenges and everything till I’m blue in the face but it doesn’t do a god damned bit of good because of my daughter! She’s 13 and gods can you tell. I’ll clean and everything will be sparkly and beautiful and calms me down (because living in a mess triggers my depression badly).
Then she comes through like a hurricane and makes it look like I didn’t do a single damn thing to my home. When we first did UFYH together to make this place livable, she was all over it. But once it was clean it was like she stopped caring and thought it would magically stay that way.
My desk looks like I never did anything to it because she piles my stuff there and then I don’t know what’s what. My table gets all her graded papers and pencils and stuff she isn’t using tossed all over it, which buries it in about five minutes. Blankets on the end of the couch that have been folded and are ready for myself or guests to easily grab and use are tossed onto the floor and walked all over because she wants the WHOLE couch to lounge on. My comfy chair is home to her sweatshirts and coats. The kitchen counter is where she piles trash, even though the trash can is directly below where she’s standing when she uses the counter. Clean dishes get mixed into the few dirty ones because she refuses to learn where I put things in the cabinets.
I’ve tried piling all her stuff on her bed for her to deal with, but then she shoves it all on the floor to sleep and never picks it up. I’ve tried talking to her, bribing her, punishing her, yelling at her… If you name it, I’ve probably tried it. It’s like she thinks she has to help with the original cleaning and then I’ll just spend my life following her around and picking up after her and staightening everything back up again. Her excuses are always - ALWAYS - either “it’s not my mess”, “I don’t know where stuff goes” or “I don’t know how to do things like you do”. Which are all a load of bullshit.
She KNOWS how to clean. She KNOWS where stuff goes. She KNOWS if we just pick up stuff as we go along, putting a few things away every time we leave the room, it won’t be as much work. But she doesn’t do it. I’ve heard her tell her friends she doesn’t do it because it’s boring. Well yes, cleaning IS boring! But it still needs done.
I’m tired of crying every day because while she’s at school I get the place nice again and she ruins it every night and just doesn’t give a damn how doing that and her behavior make me feel.
Help me, fellow unfuckers. How can I keep my home clean and get my kid to do her share so I’m not worn out from endless 20/10s and 45/15s? We’re talking about a kid who can see an overflowing garbage can and tell me with a straight face it’s not a big deal. And I can’t do this anymore. I’m tired, I’m in pain and I’m just overwhelmed.
I don’t have kids, so my suggestion of “throw all her shit in her room with her, and shut the door until she grows up a little” is probably not helpful. So, people with kids, especially teenagers, what do you suggest?
ETA: please reblog to answer, rather than flooding my askbox.
I would suggest that you give her a chore list. She not going to do it? She can’t go out with friends. She not going to do it? She’s not getting on the computer/whatever she usually gets on. She not going to do it? She doesn’t get to lounge on the couch. She not going to do it? She doesn’t get a social life.
You have to threaten them with their social life. That’s what teenagers and preteens are all about!
No chores, no social life.
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