when I was shopping today with my mom, we ran into one of her ex-coworkers and he introduced himself and shook my hand and was really friendly
and he and mom talked for a bit, and then after he walked away, my mom said
”He got fired because he killed three people.”
and I was kinda spooked for like the next 5 minutes until I remembered my mom is a surgeon
fuck i fucked up
#the first chicks just like yeah all right lets get physically fit #the second woman is ready to slit somebody’s throat #the third guy just watched the second woman slit someone he loves throat #and the fourth guy is having explosive diarrhea and hoping to distract himself from the pain #using this level forty fist nunchuck
and at level 70 you fucking animorph into a gorilla
I am laughing really hard.
That fox is all sorts of excited.
Of course it is.
ALL BITCHES THIS IS MY HOME TOWN TAKE A FUCKING SEAT WHILE I TELL YOU THIS STORY. GET A BOWL OF POPCORN BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS DOPE
IN THE 1940’S PORTLAND WAS PUTTING IN LAMPPOSTS AND FOR WHATEVER GOD DAMN REASON THIS ONE NEVER GOT FILLED.
IN 1946, DICK FAGAN, AN AMERICAN IRISHMAN WHO WROTE FOR THE OREGON JOURNAL, GOT BLOODY FUCKING BORED AT HIS JOB AND WOULD LOOK OUT HIS WINDOW ONTO THIS SAD EXCUSE FOR ROAD CONSTRUCTION HOLE. ONE DAY HE SAID “FUCK THIS” AND PLANTED SOME FLOWERS.
HE WROTE ABOUT THIS NEW FUCKING PARK AND SPOKE ABOUT HOW LEPRECHAUNS LIVED THERE AND SHIT. MOTHERFUCKING LEPRECHAUNS IN THE MIDDLE OF DOWNTOWN, WHAT THE SHIT.
HOLD ONTO TO THE EDGE OF YOUR SEATS BECAUSE THIS RIDE GETS EVEN BETTER. THIS PARK HOLDS A GUINNESS WORLD RECORD FOR BEING THE SMALLEST PARK WITH WITH INFORMATION SAYING “It was designated as a city park on 17 March 1948 at the behest of the city journalist Dick Fagan (USA) for snail races and as a colony for leprechauns”. MOTHER. FUCKING. SNAIL RACES. BITCHES.
IT’S EVEN BEEN PIMPED OUT OVER THE YEARS
HO HO HO MOTHERFUCKS WE CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS HERE
WE CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT.
THE BEST PART IS THAT IT EVEN HAD OCCUPY PORTLAND PROTESTERS
SO I HOPE YOU FUCKING LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY ABOUT TINY ASS PARKS.
Ylvis, educating people about the female reproductive system.
these guys will be the death of me.[x]
i died at the pH value
I just learnt more about the vagina in like 10 seconds than I have ever learnt in my entire life
Debating whether or not I should share this with my anatomy and physiology professor.
i have been waiting far too long for this gif set
IIRC the Darcy’s pronunciation on the Thor subtitles was legit spelled “Myeumeu.” I laughed SO HARD when they brought that back in the sequel.
(Can we talk about how Darcy was the one who swept Ian off his feet? ilu, Darcy.)
Girls are told to be skinny but not too skinny and to wear makeup but not so much that guys can tell and to dress in revealing clothes but not too revealing or else you’re a slut and a hundred other contradictory standards so I think guys can deal with being made fun of for wearing fedoras
The world didn’t get worse, homie, your eyes just got wider.
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