poemsingreenink:

askclint:

roman-rory-fallen-angel:

mishakaleins:

When they make a black widow movie, the trailer needs to be all mysterious and the song playing needs to be Scarlett Johansson singing a lullaby cover of the itsy bitsy spider

I need this in my life

That sounds fucking terrifying.

The lullaby should be in Russian.

staxilicious:

rikkalorelei:

veevigil:

thecarvingwitch:

earth-horn:

  1. light those
  2. stab this
  3. carve that
  4. shake jar
  5. say the thing

6. Knock pans together

7. yell

8. Collect items that are completely useless but you need them anyways.

9. Burn that

10. Bury this

supernatural-tardis:

i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

transhumanisticpanspermia:

kijikun:

ollivander:

DEATH IS ON ITS WAY, HUMAN.

Can I cuddle Death and give Death chin scritches and kisses?

SCRITCHES CANNOT POSTPONE THE INESCAPABLE FATE ORDAINED TO YOU, HUMAN, HOWEVER THEY MAY EARN YOU PURRS AND LOVERUBS

(Source: arvidabystrom)

gooberfiend:

deanwasneversafe:

The fuck to do you mean for six year olds

dashcon 2015 looks promising

(Source: funnyandhilarious)

satan-is-not-natural:

ruaniamh:

kaymonstar:

I keep laughing.

HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE

EAT THE FUKCING CHIP YOU PIECE OF SHIT

satan-is-not-natural:

ruaniamh:

kaymonstar:

I keep laughing.

HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE

EAT THE FUKCING CHIP YOU PIECE OF SHIT

(Source: quevidamastriste)

collarpoints:

I’m so ready for the month-long skeleton party collarpoints:

I’m so ready for the month-long skeleton party

collarpoints:

I’m so ready for the month-long skeleton party

prettylikepenny:

alonetogether-forever:

lazynbored:

I wanna live like this llama

Please unmute this. 

I’m listening to this in my room and my mom yells from the living room DON’T TURN IT OFF, I LOVE THAT SONG

(Source: vine.co)

acinoyourfearlessleader:

blue-eyed-skeleton:

pixiiebutt:

because-blackgirls-duh:

linrenzo:

onlyblackgirl:

efecte:

sagaltesfaye:

onlyblackgirl:

I love my First Lady

Can you please tell her to tell her husband to stop killing muslims? Thanks

literally all she does is try to make the country “healthy” by giving students shitty school lunches like please do something else and help your husband fix the economy! *goes awf*

Imma need y’all to learn how the United States Government works. You don’t have to like her or the president but learn that they do not makes the decisions, they really do not have very much power, the president does not have the power to just snap his fingers and make shit happen or change things. You have to have 2/3 vote from congress to take a shit, let alone do anything having to do with government. The entire government was set up to make sure that exact thing could never happen, that is why there are 3 branches and that little thing called checks and balances.

In fact let me just break this down for y’all right here. 

  • President has 2 OFFICIAL jobs, Commander and Chief of the Armed Forces, but he only controls a limited amount of the funding for those troops (enough for 90 to 120 days) to engage these troops in combat. He CANNOT just declare war. only congress can declare war. The second, Accountant over the Federal Budget. 
  • He also is responsible for creating and balancing the national budget, but everything has to be approved by congress with a 2/3 vote. 
  • He signs bills into law, can veto them as well, however congress can override his veto. 
  • He assigns judges to the Supreme court, with the senates approval. 
  • He assigns foreign ambassadors, with the senates approval. 
  • he creates his own cabinet for people to research into areas that he might not have the time to, these are the only people who do not have to get approval from senate
  • congress is made up of 535 people (100 senators 435 HoR) for any of them to come to 1 agreement has only happened once in the history of this country, and that was to go into WWII, and even that the house voted 434 to one (1st woman house of Representative she was from Maine too, she voted against WW1 and 2)  and the judicial branch can call anything unconstitutional and kill it as well. 

and if you think i’m lying you can literally google this shit in 2 seconds. 

That tea is delicious

SAY THAT SHIT AGAIN! 

I would love for people to remember this when they want to start blaming the president. Any president, though not all of them have had good ideas.

lemme get in here a sec.

The President needs a 2/3 vote in Congress to get practically anything done, right? Well currently, the 133th US Congress is split with 53 Democratic senators and 45 Republican senators and 201 Democratic representatives and 234 Republican representatives. That makes a pretty even split between the two major political parties. Ever since President Obama was elected into office, the Republicans have voted down every piece of legislation he’s attempted to pass, in an effort to pin him as the worst president in American history, so that they can go back to their white-washed elitist lives and keep all their hoarded money from the people. The President has been doing everything he can to change things, but he cannot do that without the approval of Congress. Remember that week-long shutdown we had? Yeah, that was because the Republicans weren’t getting exactly their way with the budget, so they decided to shut down the whole goddamn government until they got their way. The United States Government relies on compromise and agreement between the two parties, and we’re seriously lacking right now in that department.

So if you want to blame someone for our country’s issues, blame the goddamn Republicans for acting like tantrum-throwing two year olds.

Fucking THANK YOU!

(Source: kuraplka)

madeupmonkeyshit:

Ebola got me like

madeupmonkeyshit:

Ebola got me like

bestnatesmithever:

How we all look while trying to navigate adulthood

(Source: zaiga)